Be Your Own Valentine!

Last night I sat alone in my living room bored to tears by commercials, missing the three-year-old love of my life that is on vacation with her dad, wishing that a heart-shaped box of chocolates would magically appear on my doorstep. How silly is that? After realizing I was throwing myself yet another pity party, I made a command decision: I rented Eat Pray Love and poured myself a glass of wine. For the next two hours I blubbered like a fool over how closely my life resembles fiction (or in this case, semi-non).

Here I am in the throes of reinvention, terrified about what is going to happen next, just starting to gain that unique perspective that: I am a strong woman, the Universe has determined my path, now all I need is to pay attention and do the work. I get it! I'm listening! I'm doing the work. My dream of being an author is being realized. My project calendar proves that. I can revise a novel in a week (without a three-year-old in tow). I can write a novel in a month. I can learn new things, accomplish goals, and add all of them to my resume. I can make money, live healthy, move forward and be happy, or I can just survive.

The heart-shaped box of chocolates isn't going to magically appear at my door, I don't need them to because I no longer want to be a survivor. I want the spice, the seasoning, the varied colors and textures of my favorite chocolates. I know what I want. When I'm craving good chocolate, I know where to find it. I can find it 365 days of the year. It doesn't have to come wrapped with a bow, though I might do that as a treat just for me. It's all my choice. I own it.

Now, don't get me wrong, one very important lesson learned from last night's "boo hoo fest" is that sometimes you need the imbalance of love to balance life, but that isn't where I am. I'm at the second act. I know what I'm missing, I'm out to discover it, and once I do maybe the Universe will see fit to throw me for a love loop AGAIN. For now I am content to get to know myself and what I am capable of. That's the sweet realization I need on this Valentine's Day. What about you?

Be you married, single, in limbo, in love, in pain, or otherwise, I hope on this Valentine's Day you will charge out your door, head straight to your nearest chocolatier and surprise yourself with the treat YOU desire, and deserve, most.

Until next time, I remain,
The Unstoppable Ms. Start