“Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you somebody who has never achieved much.” - Joan Collins
If you choose to view divorce as a mistake, that is your right. Divorce is often that fearful one thing none of us wants to face. Maybe it’s the one thing we swear will never happen to us. The security of that crystal ball never fails me. How about you?
I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life. I’ve walked away when I should’ve stayed. I’ve held on when I should’ve let go. Hell, I’ve even let go when I probably should’ve held on. But have I learned anything? Sure.
Tonight I found myself on the phone with my soon-to-be-ex. We talked a bit after I said goodnight to Red over the phone (she’s with her dad this weekend). I shared with him how much I missed her when she wasn’t around. He was empathetic. I shared with him how some days I want to call him up and scream and yell at him in anger. Again, he understood. I declared how some days I missed him so much I wanted to tell him to come to his senses and come home. His response, “I guess I’m not the only one that feels that way.”
When we hung up the phone I pretty much sat paralyzed on the couch in my office wondering, “How should I feel?” Sadness over my loss was the first thing that struck me. Losing my husband, my family, is a devastating, embarrassing, humiliating loss. I might even call it a mistake. But, there’s no turning back now. All I can do from this point forward is be myself and learn from my mistakes.
Love you so much, my friend. Divorce sucks, no matter how you cut it. I admire your candor, and I appreciate his.
ReplyDeleteI won't throw anything of the "this is the beginning of the beginning" or "onward and upward" ilk at you. That's not fitting right now. You know what IS fitting? This: ((hugs))
Thanks for sharing.....at any age or any amount of time being married the D word is to be feared when it comes. It comes unexpected or expected and has the same results. But we can learn and continue on.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the ((hugs)) Megan, and for refraining from the ilk (I love that word). As you can see the "D" demon is in need of exercising so the blog has taken yet another turn. Still a writer supporting writers, but more importantly a survivor. XOXOX - Lindy
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous. You're right, at any age, no matter the circumstance, divorce is devastating. The best we can hope for is to learn enough not to make the same mistakes, right? We all say we'll never do it again. That's where I am right now. Where are you? Thanks for stopping by! - Lindy
ReplyDeleteWell said, Lindy. It's so hard to find perspective when you're in the middle of it. I am glad that you and whats-his-name had a positive conversation last night, although sometimes that makes it even more difficult. How should you feel? However you feel. It will change from day to day, even moment to moment. Always remember that there are MANY people out here in the rest of the world who love you and want nothing but the best for you. Because YOU are the best! :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid to mourn. You've lost something important.
ReplyDeleteYou know what strikes me the strongest when I read here. Your optimism. To face divorce at this point in my life requires me to start every day with a unstoppable motivation to make every day what I can at the start and if tomorrow comes then I thank god I made it another day for my kid. The power of optimism is even perceived to medically be a important influence in our health.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailyrx.com/news-article/stroke-risk-reduced-optimistim-14650.html
Thank you for at least TRYING and coming to the table with a smile when you can. I know not every day do I want to BS my way through it and appear like everything is ok. Thank you for being you, it is supportive.
DannJ, I can't tell you what your comments meant to me this morning. As you can see it's been a while since I've written anything and I find on this particular subject it's really hard to write without slamming my soon-to-be wasband for leaving. I want to be positive for my little Red and for you. I'm here if you need to vent. Keep up the good fight! - Lindy
ReplyDeleteA good post (or good writing) comes from the heart. It touches people. You do that here, so take comfort in that too. Hugs, Lindy.
ReplyDeleteThanks Carol. Your comment means the world to me. Smooches - Lindy
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