There’s nothing like the pain and frustration that accompany getting derailed in life. Whether you are following your dream of becoming a writer, pursuing a new career path, or finding comfort in staying home to raise a child, when “life happens” and your speeding locomotive jumps the track, what do you do?
As someone who has experienced this phenomenon this week, I must say I’ve been given some of the best advice. One dear friend told me, “Wallow. Take the time you need to wallow today, but tomorrow, get your butt back to work, dig your toes in and be stubborn about it.”
So I did. But, instead of wallowing alone I invited friends to join me. I had lunch with a handful of wonderful people including a man I recently completed book edits for, followed by a visit from two besties. Once the visits were over and I had found some peace, I got some sleep. This morning brought a visit by my two critique partners, Pam Asberry and Pamela Mason, and some sense of digging my toes in. And this afternoon the fog cleared from my brain and I moved on a bit, my bitterness quelled by a nice dinner out with an old friend.
I guess the point is it doesn’t matter what comes out of life’s tunnels to throw you off track, take a break if you need to but get back on track as quickly as you can. Hold onto the dreams you have built for yourself. Don’t give in completely to the derailment. In the end you have only yourself to be accountable to. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to have to face disappointing myself.
Mary Tyler Moore once said, “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” So, take firm grasp of the bull in the middle of your life’s track, wrestle with it, and then move it out of your way. You have much more important things to focus on.
Until tomorrow’s Truth or Fiction, I remain Unstoppable.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
ABCs for New Writers - "B" is for Building
As a new writer wrapped up in the idea of getting your very first work of brilliance published it is important to think about building. Within the craft of writing there are many ways to build – worlds, plots, scenes, dialog and dichotomy. To me, the most important construction project a new writer can take on has nothing to do with craft and everything to do with support. “B” is for Build your community.
Author C.L. Wilson reiterated this for me at the Southern Lights Conference in Jacksonville, Florida this weekend. She jokingly reminded me that if I would have created my writing world on a foundation of community instead of my very first WIP I would probably be in a much different place by now. But, like every new writer (and yes, I’m generalizing) I started out with the idea that I was the next Dickens and that the audience for my poignant work of modern-day fiction would be beating down the doors of B&N to purchase my genius. Boy was I clueless.
I wrote my first novel in five weeks time and, thinking (no joke) that it was shear perfection, sent it to every agent and editor I could get an e-mail address for. This was not a waste; it was something we will talk about in a later letter. The important point today is that I was rejected, over, and over (near about 247 overs) again.
I had no idea of community at that time. If I had, I would have called my closest writing friends and invited them over to celebrate my lack of success. No agent or editor would touch my project, but the advice they gave, one in particular, was what I needed to lay the first brick in my foundation. She asked if I was a member of Romance Writers of America (RWA).
It took another year for me to consider this advice seriously. At the Unicorn Press Writer’s Conference in Connecticut last March I heard that advice again but this time it was accompanied by, “Those folks down in Georgia throw one heck of a party.” My ears perked. “Moonlight and Magnolias!” I was so excited! The minute I got home I joined RWA and Georgia Romance Writers (GRW) and made plans to attend my first meeting (and P.S. couldn’t wait for Moonlight and Magnolias).
I walked away from my first GRW meeting with a renewed excitement about writing, not because I learned something new about craft (which I did) or got more information about the business of publishing (which I did) but because I now had a host of new friends following the same path. That meeting was less than a year ago and since then my community has grown one hundred fold. I am blessed to have both published and non-published writers to share in my journey. These are wonderful people I feel like I can call with questions, cry on their shoulders, or ask for help in a time of crisis. Two of these women, Pam Asberry and Pamela Mason became my critique partners. As a group we have celebrated and mourned both personally and professionally.
The point is, don’t waste time thinking you can do this on your own. Google the association most closely related to the work you do, find your local chapter and join both. Go to your first meeting. Make a new friend or two. Shore up your foundation early, build the community that will help you build your career.
Until Wisdom Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable.
Author C.L. Wilson reiterated this for me at the Southern Lights Conference in Jacksonville, Florida this weekend. She jokingly reminded me that if I would have created my writing world on a foundation of community instead of my very first WIP I would probably be in a much different place by now. But, like every new writer (and yes, I’m generalizing) I started out with the idea that I was the next Dickens and that the audience for my poignant work of modern-day fiction would be beating down the doors of B&N to purchase my genius. Boy was I clueless.
I wrote my first novel in five weeks time and, thinking (no joke) that it was shear perfection, sent it to every agent and editor I could get an e-mail address for. This was not a waste; it was something we will talk about in a later letter. The important point today is that I was rejected, over, and over (near about 247 overs) again.
I had no idea of community at that time. If I had, I would have called my closest writing friends and invited them over to celebrate my lack of success. No agent or editor would touch my project, but the advice they gave, one in particular, was what I needed to lay the first brick in my foundation. She asked if I was a member of Romance Writers of America (RWA).
It took another year for me to consider this advice seriously. At the Unicorn Press Writer’s Conference in Connecticut last March I heard that advice again but this time it was accompanied by, “Those folks down in Georgia throw one heck of a party.” My ears perked. “Moonlight and Magnolias!” I was so excited! The minute I got home I joined RWA and Georgia Romance Writers (GRW) and made plans to attend my first meeting (and P.S. couldn’t wait for Moonlight and Magnolias).
I walked away from my first GRW meeting with a renewed excitement about writing, not because I learned something new about craft (which I did) or got more information about the business of publishing (which I did) but because I now had a host of new friends following the same path. That meeting was less than a year ago and since then my community has grown one hundred fold. I am blessed to have both published and non-published writers to share in my journey. These are wonderful people I feel like I can call with questions, cry on their shoulders, or ask for help in a time of crisis. Two of these women, Pam Asberry and Pamela Mason became my critique partners. As a group we have celebrated and mourned both personally and professionally.
The point is, don’t waste time thinking you can do this on your own. Google the association most closely related to the work you do, find your local chapter and join both. Go to your first meeting. Make a new friend or two. Shore up your foundation early, build the community that will help you build your career.
Until Wisdom Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Truth or Fiction - The Reveal
Well, if you thought the story was true, in one instance you were right. The meal was very real, and look what it inspired.
As a writer one of the most important things for me to remember is inspiration comes from anywhere and everywhere. This meal made my night some 16 years ago, and to this day I can still find a way to write about it.
Interesting thought, isn't it? What small thing can you recall from 16 years ago that might inspire you to write something today? Take a minute and let that thought bring out your inner-writer.
Until Malleable Monday and the letter "B" for new writers, I remain Unstoppable.
As a writer one of the most important things for me to remember is inspiration comes from anywhere and everywhere. This meal made my night some 16 years ago, and to this day I can still find a way to write about it.
Interesting thought, isn't it? What small thing can you recall from 16 years ago that might inspire you to write something today? Take a minute and let that thought bring out your inner-writer.
Until Malleable Monday and the letter "B" for new writers, I remain Unstoppable.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Truth or Fiction Thursday - The Foodie Ballerina
Emma was a spitfire. At twenty-three, she was the youngest Executive Coordinator ever hired at a Culinary School in the Southeast. She was the anomaly in a field otherwise dominated by older male chefs entrenched in the area’s restaurant scene. The lanky food-lover hurried to get to know every chef that opened a restaurant in her town inviting them to showcase their food in one of her many classes. She viewed her position as a stepping stone to her dream job – restaurant public relations and marketing.
Sitting at her linen-covered table, she shook her head, hoping with desperation she could let go of work for two days. She wanted forty-eight hours to enjoy the beach, but the food on the island called to her, leading her to a new restaurant famed for its play on Southern cuisine.
Her meal was exquisite - pecan-crusted salmon and Portobello cheese grits with wilted greens. She savored every delicate bite allowing the sweet, rich flavors to mingle and fill her palette and soul with the peace she desired.
Taking her last sip of tannin-rich Pinot Noir, she asked her waitress, “Could you please ask Chef to come to the table so I could pay him my compliments in person?”
“Absolutely!” the summer-bronzed woman replied, making haste to the kitchen.
Distracted, Emma’s eyes wandered around the restaurant spying lovers in dimly lit corners, and paintings with bright, contemporary colors. She was at home in her surroundings and filled with confidence.
Seconds later the chef stepped into the dining room. Dressed in crisp, formal whites, toque sitting atop his head, he appeared to be seven feet tall. Emma’s breath caught in her chest as the handsome, mysterious man approached the table, his self-assured stature enchanting.
She offered her hand and began to speak, but instead of shaking it in response, Chef pulled Emma to her feet, twirling her out into the middle of the room, her shapely, tan legs peeking out from under her short, flowing red dress. Captivated, Emma fell into the moment, letting Chef’s hand in the small of her back direct her every step.
With nary an introduction, they danced around the room to cascades of Sinatra’s snappy beat, swaying back and forth, the music guiding them closer and closer to one another. When the tune ended, Emma’s cheek was pressed against that of the chef’s, her right hand curled tightly in his left, her knees trembling, announcing her coolness had long since left her.
It’s your turn to join the conversation. Do you think this really happened? Does it sound eerily similar to something you’ve experienced? Comment and tell us what Unstoppable moments have occurred in your own life.
Until tomorrow’s reveal, I remain Unstoppable.
Sitting at her linen-covered table, she shook her head, hoping with desperation she could let go of work for two days. She wanted forty-eight hours to enjoy the beach, but the food on the island called to her, leading her to a new restaurant famed for its play on Southern cuisine.
Her meal was exquisite - pecan-crusted salmon and Portobello cheese grits with wilted greens. She savored every delicate bite allowing the sweet, rich flavors to mingle and fill her palette and soul with the peace she desired.
Taking her last sip of tannin-rich Pinot Noir, she asked her waitress, “Could you please ask Chef to come to the table so I could pay him my compliments in person?”
“Absolutely!” the summer-bronzed woman replied, making haste to the kitchen.
Distracted, Emma’s eyes wandered around the restaurant spying lovers in dimly lit corners, and paintings with bright, contemporary colors. She was at home in her surroundings and filled with confidence.
Seconds later the chef stepped into the dining room. Dressed in crisp, formal whites, toque sitting atop his head, he appeared to be seven feet tall. Emma’s breath caught in her chest as the handsome, mysterious man approached the table, his self-assured stature enchanting.
She offered her hand and began to speak, but instead of shaking it in response, Chef pulled Emma to her feet, twirling her out into the middle of the room, her shapely, tan legs peeking out from under her short, flowing red dress. Captivated, Emma fell into the moment, letting Chef’s hand in the small of her back direct her every step.
With nary an introduction, they danced around the room to cascades of Sinatra’s snappy beat, swaying back and forth, the music guiding them closer and closer to one another. When the tune ended, Emma’s cheek was pressed against that of the chef’s, her right hand curled tightly in his left, her knees trembling, announcing her coolness had long since left her.
It’s your turn to join the conversation. Do you think this really happened? Does it sound eerily similar to something you’ve experienced? Comment and tell us what Unstoppable moments have occurred in your own life.
Until tomorrow’s reveal, I remain Unstoppable.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Wisdom Wednesday - Is Self-Defeat Defeating You?
Some days I can’t turn my face away from the ground. Life’s drama – too much work, too little time, too many “mommy, mommy, MOMMYs!” and nary enough hands or brains – oftentimes has me so afraid of “what ifs” that I can’t comprehend how to even pick up and do thing number one. How frustrating it is to wake up and know immediately that the few blessed hours you get in a day have already been eaten up with time commitments. It’s debilitating.
Self-defeat can be the first obstacle some of us have to overcome each day. Don’t think you fall into this category? I didn’t either until a memo citing some traits of self-defeating behavior crossed my desk. In shock, I, the self-sufficient learner-by-osmosis read the statement, “I don’t need help, I’ll figure it out myself.” Now wait a minute! That sounded just like me. But how is that self-defeating behavior?
At that moment I realized that not asking for help to learn or accomplish what I need to grow and thrive in life holds me back. Look at the wealth of knowledge I can access just by messaging someone on Facebook or Twitter – moms, writers, family, sitters, and business people like myself – all right there for the asking.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. – Helen Keller
In the face of unbelievable adversity, Helen Keller became the first deaf blind person to graduate from college. If she can experience such amazing achievement in her life, then what in the world could I have to worry about? It’s all relative. We all have our own personal hardships.
When I get out of sorts with misfortunes and the “to dos” of the day, I put on my project management cap and make a list. Though these lists are pretty darn long, at least the things that need accomplishing are on paper. It’s a start and something I have to do before I even know what I need help with.
Next, I prioritize. The key to getting things done in my life is knowing what to let go of. This all too critical stage of time structuring allows me the chance to take what I consider an emergency and imagine it being stricken with a sharp steel axe, chopped right out of my day. Okay, the visual is a little violent, but it works for me. The beautiful thing about the axe is that each day I must face a plethora of responsibilities: my day job, cleaning, laundry, cooking, WIP revisions, whatever “bad thing” must happen (this morning it was a coffee pot spewing coffee onto the counter vs. in the pot), and spending quality time with my little girl. The picture just became clearer to you, didn’t it? It’s impossible for me to imagine the dreaded axe chopping my daughter out of my day. To me, the image is grotesque, and like the reality, I could never allow it to happen.
Finally, I make the necessary cuts and ask for help where I need it. When faced with lengthy projects at work, a blog to write, and family in town yesterday I chopped out vacuuming the floors and running errands, and asked my mom to help by making dinner, so I could spend time with my little girl laughing, playing, and watching a movie. Not only did we get to bond, she got my full attention and lots of love and kisses and I got to see life through her eyes – much less serious and without drop-deadlines.
There may not have been a lot of sun in Atlanta today, but the sky was bright enough and we kept our heads up so the shadows remained out of sight. It made for another Unstoppable day.
Join the conversation. What are some difficulties you’ve faced lately? How do you prioritize? What are you willing to cut out of your day to make time for what’s important? What gives you strength and inspiration in the face of adversity? Do you ask for help when you need it?
I look forward to seeing you here tomorrow for Truth or Fiction Thursday. Until then, I remain Unstoppable.
Self-defeat can be the first obstacle some of us have to overcome each day. Don’t think you fall into this category? I didn’t either until a memo citing some traits of self-defeating behavior crossed my desk. In shock, I, the self-sufficient learner-by-osmosis read the statement, “I don’t need help, I’ll figure it out myself.” Now wait a minute! That sounded just like me. But how is that self-defeating behavior?
At that moment I realized that not asking for help to learn or accomplish what I need to grow and thrive in life holds me back. Look at the wealth of knowledge I can access just by messaging someone on Facebook or Twitter – moms, writers, family, sitters, and business people like myself – all right there for the asking.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. – Helen Keller
In the face of unbelievable adversity, Helen Keller became the first deaf blind person to graduate from college. If she can experience such amazing achievement in her life, then what in the world could I have to worry about? It’s all relative. We all have our own personal hardships.
When I get out of sorts with misfortunes and the “to dos” of the day, I put on my project management cap and make a list. Though these lists are pretty darn long, at least the things that need accomplishing are on paper. It’s a start and something I have to do before I even know what I need help with.
Next, I prioritize. The key to getting things done in my life is knowing what to let go of. This all too critical stage of time structuring allows me the chance to take what I consider an emergency and imagine it being stricken with a sharp steel axe, chopped right out of my day. Okay, the visual is a little violent, but it works for me. The beautiful thing about the axe is that each day I must face a plethora of responsibilities: my day job, cleaning, laundry, cooking, WIP revisions, whatever “bad thing” must happen (this morning it was a coffee pot spewing coffee onto the counter vs. in the pot), and spending quality time with my little girl. The picture just became clearer to you, didn’t it? It’s impossible for me to imagine the dreaded axe chopping my daughter out of my day. To me, the image is grotesque, and like the reality, I could never allow it to happen.
Finally, I make the necessary cuts and ask for help where I need it. When faced with lengthy projects at work, a blog to write, and family in town yesterday I chopped out vacuuming the floors and running errands, and asked my mom to help by making dinner, so I could spend time with my little girl laughing, playing, and watching a movie. Not only did we get to bond, she got my full attention and lots of love and kisses and I got to see life through her eyes – much less serious and without drop-deadlines.
There may not have been a lot of sun in Atlanta today, but the sky was bright enough and we kept our heads up so the shadows remained out of sight. It made for another Unstoppable day.
Join the conversation. What are some difficulties you’ve faced lately? How do you prioritize? What are you willing to cut out of your day to make time for what’s important? What gives you strength and inspiration in the face of adversity? Do you ask for help when you need it?
I look forward to seeing you here tomorrow for Truth or Fiction Thursday. Until then, I remain Unstoppable.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Malleable Monday - "A" is for Abstract
Welcome to Malleable Monday and the first letter in the new writer’s alphabet. This is for those folks who desire nothing more than a cliff to take a leap of faith from. This is not a lesson in the business of publishing, nor is it necessarily about craft, but more the direction and motivation new writers need to put pen to paper and get writing.
“A” is for Abstract, as in “to think in the abstract.” It means without reference to specific circumstances or practical experience (Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009
Let’s start with the simple idea of letting go of what we know and experience everyday and delve into abstract thinking. I’m certain in each of you the same school of thought has been implanted – writers write what they know.
Is that true? It is entirely possible. The difference between a fantastic fiction writer and anyone else is their ability to take everyday experiences and spin them into the abstract. Say, for instance, you take a walk early one morning (a bit of my own advice for new writers) and on your walk the air is thick with moisture and carries with it the rich, hearty smell of bacon frying in the pan. It’s a lovely experience, no doubt, but if it inspires you to write something what will that be - I smelled bacon on my walk this morning. A good start, but go one conceptual step further.
Are you a Sci-Fi writer? Maybe the rich, hearty smell is the smell of the 900-foot tall spindle trees on your planet that reach into the atmosphere to feed off grease-filled troposphere. If you’re a romance writer, maybe that’s your overnight conquest in the kitchen courting you with his culinary prowess. Or, if you write suspense, that could be something other than bacon frying in the pan, if you know what I mean.
Point is James Cameron didn’t make Avatar a grand success by producing a story about a marine who was dispatched on a mission during wartime to find his loyalties lie with the people he is charged to eradicate. Though touching, we often experience war, growth, and relationships in person or on the evening news. No, James Cameron made Avatar a captivating story by creating a visually fantastic world we were unfamiliar with, and drawing us into stunning characters we could relate to like a paraplegic marine thrust into a computerized capsule in order to take on the identity of his enemy. Does your protagonist have to be blue in order to encourage emotion? Absolutely not, but your story has to be fresh, different, an original idea from your brain containing imaginative, thought-provoking content, characters and scenery.
Does the idea of abstract thinking test you? Good. Sometimes the best things in life come out of challenge. Try reinventing yourself at forty, or making a career change at fifty-five. Sure it’s difficult, but who said rewards come easy.
Now, it’s time for you to join the conversation. Whether you are a new writer or someone who has published thirty books, if you’re reading this take a minute to share one teensy-weensy abstract thought. Pick one of the following basic subjects: 1) Bright yellow daffodils lifting their heads to the noonday sun; 2) an azure sky filled with fire; or 3) the sound of silence from a snow-covered mountain top and write the abstract start it inspires in you. Go all out! Put your craziest, weirdest, most out-of-the-box thoughts into a sentence or two and comment. Let’s see what our peers have to say.
Until Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable
“A” is for Abstract, as in “to think in the abstract.” It means without reference to specific circumstances or practical experience (Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009
Let’s start with the simple idea of letting go of what we know and experience everyday and delve into abstract thinking. I’m certain in each of you the same school of thought has been implanted – writers write what they know.
Is that true? It is entirely possible. The difference between a fantastic fiction writer and anyone else is their ability to take everyday experiences and spin them into the abstract. Say, for instance, you take a walk early one morning (a bit of my own advice for new writers) and on your walk the air is thick with moisture and carries with it the rich, hearty smell of bacon frying in the pan. It’s a lovely experience, no doubt, but if it inspires you to write something what will that be - I smelled bacon on my walk this morning. A good start, but go one conceptual step further.
Are you a Sci-Fi writer? Maybe the rich, hearty smell is the smell of the 900-foot tall spindle trees on your planet that reach into the atmosphere to feed off grease-filled troposphere. If you’re a romance writer, maybe that’s your overnight conquest in the kitchen courting you with his culinary prowess. Or, if you write suspense, that could be something other than bacon frying in the pan, if you know what I mean.
Point is James Cameron didn’t make Avatar a grand success by producing a story about a marine who was dispatched on a mission during wartime to find his loyalties lie with the people he is charged to eradicate. Though touching, we often experience war, growth, and relationships in person or on the evening news. No, James Cameron made Avatar a captivating story by creating a visually fantastic world we were unfamiliar with, and drawing us into stunning characters we could relate to like a paraplegic marine thrust into a computerized capsule in order to take on the identity of his enemy. Does your protagonist have to be blue in order to encourage emotion? Absolutely not, but your story has to be fresh, different, an original idea from your brain containing imaginative, thought-provoking content, characters and scenery.
Does the idea of abstract thinking test you? Good. Sometimes the best things in life come out of challenge. Try reinventing yourself at forty, or making a career change at fifty-five. Sure it’s difficult, but who said rewards come easy.
Now, it’s time for you to join the conversation. Whether you are a new writer or someone who has published thirty books, if you’re reading this take a minute to share one teensy-weensy abstract thought. Pick one of the following basic subjects: 1) Bright yellow daffodils lifting their heads to the noonday sun; 2) an azure sky filled with fire; or 3) the sound of silence from a snow-covered mountain top and write the abstract start it inspires in you. Go all out! Put your craziest, weirdest, most out-of-the-box thoughts into a sentence or two and comment. Let’s see what our peers have to say.
Until Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable
Saturday, March 5, 2011
This Week's Winners
Happy weekend everyone! I wanted to take a quick minute of your time to announce this week's follow and comment winners. They are:
Malleable Monday - Nicki S. for an Unstoppable T-shirt
Wisdom Wednesday - Pam A. for an Unstoppable Coffee Mug
Truth or Fiction Thursday - Robin K. for an Unstoppable Mousepad
(Winners were assigned numbers and chosen by Random.org)
Thanks to each of you for following along and commenting. Watch for future posts and contests at www.unstoppablestart.com or http://unstoppablestart.blogspot.com.
Have a great day!
Lindy
Malleable Monday - Nicki S. for an Unstoppable T-shirt
Wisdom Wednesday - Pam A. for an Unstoppable Coffee Mug
Truth or Fiction Thursday - Robin K. for an Unstoppable Mousepad
(Winners were assigned numbers and chosen by Random.org)
Thanks to each of you for following along and commenting. Watch for future posts and contests at www.unstoppablestart.com or http://unstoppablestart.blogspot.com.
Have a great day!
Lindy
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