ABCs for New Writers - "L" is for Love Your Process

For some of us our relationship with our creativity is of the love/hate persuasion. I for one often have bursts of creative flow and other times my river runs dry. It’s not writer’s block per se; that’s a whole different animal. This is that sinking feeling like you can’t lift your hefty rear off the couch to create anything, not even a quiche, that would appeal to an audience; least of all your very best friend. The feeling is horrible and leaves your wheels spinning. Idea after idea comes into your brain and just as quickly as they pop in, they poop out.

My Love Letter to My Process,
"Sweetheart, thinking of you keeps me up at night!"

Yes friends, creativity can be a fickle lover. But I have found that if you have a process, a method to your creative madness, you can accomplish more by loving it.

Just like a sprouting tomato plant in early spring, if you nurture it, tomatoes will come. Same with your process, if you care for it, play it music, weed the weaker ideas out of your fertile creative field, nourish it with encouragement, entertainment, and education (sounds like another post); your little creativity seedling will grow into a creative process that by enjoyment, not habit, will yield fists full of well written pages.

My process changes from project to project. I wear many hats in my life and my career, so defining a beginning and end point, like the trained project manager I am, is how I get started. Defining a start and finish, as I said, differs by project. Since we are talking in this context about writing, let’s take a work of romantic women’s fiction. This is on the outset a work of eighty to one-hundred thousand words. Aside from drawing character sketches, and plotting, and research I know that I can work and hour to an hour and a half a day and will typically average 1,500 words in that timeframe. My starting point is doing the math – using today as my start date I figure how many days it will take to write the minimum, in this case 53.3 days, and I draw a darling caricature on my calendar on the block for August 8th that depicts me doing the happy dance. Then, I get to work.

After defining a project frame, which gives me a goal, a deadline I am driven to meet, I write the first scene. I write longhand at first just to get the initial idea on paper and the juices flowing. Once I get a feel for where I’m heading with the story, and who the characters may be, I do the leg work – definition, research, plotting. I schedule interviews with SMEs (Subject Matter Experts) who can help me with the things I know nothing about like the differences in being a circuit court judge in 1950 versus present day. All the while I write.

As a new writer, have you developed your process yet? Have you tried two or three different ideas but nothing seems to fit? Let me know and maybe I can turn you onto trying something new.

Until next time, I remain Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – K is for Knowledge is Key

Today’s blog topic/title probably sounds a bit cliché, but it’s true. I’ve found in life, business, love and writing the more you know the more prepared you are for contingencies. The term “contingencies” makes life, love and writing sound sterile, doesn’t it? I’m just practical gal that way.

Here’s an extreme example: You buckle yourself into a narrow seat on a McDonnell Douglas MD-88. You have very little leg room just like everyone else, and the same pocket in front of you with Sky Mall Magazine and flight safety placard. Do you choose to ignore the flight attendants as they explain where to find the necessary equipment to save your life and someone else’s and use the safety leaflet as a bookmark instead of memorizing it as you taxi down the tarmac – or – do you take a few minutes to verse yourself on floatation devices, exits, and overall air traveler’s rights so you are prepared in case of an emergency? I don’t know about you, but I am annoyed at the number of people these days that take that small effort for granted. And it peeves me to no end to know that I am taking the all important extra step to save them by increasing my knowledge about safety precautions when I would just as soon let them suffer their chosen fate due to laziness.

The same goes for writing. If you don’t take the time, spend the money, make the effort to improve your knowledge of the craft, publishing, even 21st century language then you are going to choose your fate as well. It’s not easy. Life is a time suck. We’ve all been there. But it behooves you to set aside 20 minutes each day to catch up with Publisher’s weekly and read an excerpt the host of books available to writers in this business. It is also worth the investment to join your local  - Georgia Romance Writers - and national - Romance Writers of America - writer’s associations and spend two or three hours a month with others in your field.

If you don’t go that extra mile to educate yourself you can die an unfortunate death in this business due to lack of knowledge if nothing else. What’s it worth to you?

Until tomorrow, I remain the Unstoppable and ever learning Ms. Start.

A teensy-weensy little bit of shameless marketing - Pam Asberry and I launched http://www.writerslipp.com/ on Monday. It's a blog for writers, non-writers, women, men, lovers, and fighters about life and love in penned perspective. Stop by this week and meet us. Leave a comment and follow us for a chance to win some cool prizes!

ABCs for New Writers – J is for Just Write; Edit Later

Okay folks, this should be totally self-explanatory, but let me tell you something, for even experienced writers, writing without our internal editor switched “on” can be hard. You’ve heard of the internal editor, right? That’s that little voice, the angel, or devil on your shoulder that makes you go back to the beginning of each paragraph to read, re-read, and edit it to death before you can move on. That little bugger can make a writer cra-zee!

So here’s the deal, imagine a switch for your internal editor and flip it to the “off” position. Write. Write. Write. If you have to, write longhand. But don’t, let me repeat; don’t edit anything until you write “the end.."

What? You feel like you might lose your train of thought. Your subconscious brain doesn’t forget my friends so you have lost nothing. How do you trick your conscious brain into picking up where you left off? That’s easy. Go back to the work you did the day before (yes, I am making the assumption you write on a daily basis) and re-write, or re-type the last couple of sentences or paragraph where you left off. Then all you have to do is keep going. Cool huh? Try it!

The most important thing is to get your ideas on paper in their freshest, most tender state. That is where all of your emotion lies in the newness of a thought or idea. If you edit before you even get the complete thought on paper then you lose the feelings that drove you to have the thought or idea to begin with. Don’t do that. I want to read about whom you are and what you are feeling whether it’s fictionalized or not. If you don’t feel like you can trust yourself to put your emotions on paper, well, that’s another letter for another day.

So get to it! Close your eyes. Envision the switch. Turn it off. Nice. Now write.

Until Wednesday, I am back and feeling a little more organized and Unstoppable.

Love in Five Parts - Part II

So, if I were to tell you my father was a narcissist to the nth degree could you understand how I love him? What about if I told you my mother passed her codependency on to me, could you see how I love her? How about this…what if I told you I love myself even though I inherited some of both my parent’s character defects? Could you love me too?

It’s a fascinating study in human behavior, this need to love and feel love. What exactly does love do for us? Does it provide wealth, freedom, stability, anything tangible? No. Does it feed us, clothe us, and keep a roof over our head? I guess that depends on your perspective, but not really.

I think love as it is defined (refer to last week’s post – Part I) gives us wings. Oh heck, now that’s a Hallmark card in the making. Sorry. Love gives us the opportunity to put ourselves out there to another human being. We lay bear our hearts, souls, brains to someone else. It’s terrifying and freeing all at the same time.

And what if our way of love is tempered by narcissistic or codependent parents, or both? Then how do we put forth, or even know, what it is we want to give and receive in love?

I learned a lot from my parents, which is what I will share today. This is Part II after all and a fitting place, the first layer of ingredients in our L-O-V-E pie. Sounds kind of dirty, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not!

I have always loved my parents and I think, despite all the hell I put them through, my parents have always loved me. I know they both came from very difficult circumstances in their own childhoods and as an adult I try to grasp every part of that, and how they raised me, in order to more fully understand and love them. Whew!

My father travelled a lot when I was young which I guess left me always wanting for his attention. When he was home he was typically in need of space. Needless to say, I was a busy-body and probably always in his way. But, my dad did a great job at giving me all of the opportunities and benefits he didn’t have as a child. I traveled, attended nice dinners, private schools, and for the most part got what I wanted when I wanted it. Those things did not make up for Dad not being around. I still missed him and that put me in a position to want a man’s love and attention very early on.

My mom, on the other hand, was a doting, caring, loving mom who stood by me through thick and thin. Anyone would want that, right? But, what neither of us got at the time, and I think this is the case of most parents and children, is that I needed to stand on my own two feet, learn lessons the hard way, crack my freaking skull so I’d know not to traverse the rocks of the river in flood waters. You know? So yes, mom was always there but because I had never felt the pain of making my own mistakes, I thought at a very early age that I knew what was best for me.

They influenced me in both extremely positive and terribly negative ways. As an adult I have studied their individual impacts on me and hope that I have learned enough junior psychology not to pass along certain tendencies to my daughter. However, the best ones I pray she will get tenfold, like patience, kindness, a bright smile, a willingness to own up to her mistakes, to give freely of herself. These are the things I want for her.

I will leave you to digest Part II and eagerly await Part III. A cliffhanger of sorts. Until next week, jump in with both feet and tell me about your upbringing and the people who influenced you. Do you recognize what you do today that you adopted from your childhood? Are there things you wish you could change?

Until tomorrow, I remain Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers - "I" is for Inspire

For all intents and purposes I mean inspire others, but as with everything, this is somewhat karmic (what goes out comes back tenfold). Why? As you uplift others and propel them forward to follow their own dreams, so too are you moved forward toward your own. Deep, huh? Some day you’ll find that quote in Bartlett’s.

I witness it each day in my own life as well as the lives of my fellow writers. When you are able to share your stories, struggles and triumphs included, the individuals who follow your progress also become ready to try their hand at what they want most out of life. In other words, before you even publish your very first work you can affect lives. Ultimately isn’t that why we become writers, because we want to touch people, to pass on a message, to help them in some small way?

I interpret a writers “voice” in this way. It is the message that one intends to convey not the means by which one conveys it. (Boy, Bartlett’s here I come!) And though voice is a topic for another day, one that you will understand better by the time we get there, it bears weight in today’s conversation. As you share your story, your progress, you develop your voice.

I get e-mails from friends and readers regularly that say simply, “great job!” or “keep going!” Those small messages give me the courage I need to keep walking the path toward my ultimate goal of becoming a published author. The best ones though are the ones that read, “This was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you.” Those words can keep me going strong for days.

Reading the blogs of my fellow writers I see the same messages shared in the comments. In turn, I hear them speak about how friends and followers have inspired them and the circle continues because then I am inspired to share my story with you hoping that you will tell your story…see where I’m going with this. It creates a visual Microsoft might envy for a screen-saver – colorful, dramatic circles of sharing that keep going and going until someone touches the keyboard.

There are so many ways to share your story in today’s digital world. If you are afraid, or don’t understand something, ask for help. You can write a blog, tweet on Twitter, post your story on Facebook or all of the above, all in short bursts of words, that if done strategically, not only inspire others but help develop your platform and grow your audience. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. After all, we’re only at the letter “I”.

Join the conversation. Have you reached others by sharing your story? Would you like to? What would hold you back? What is your favorite comment, so far?

Until Wisdom Wednesday and Part II of Love in Five Parts, I remain Unstoppable.

Wisdom Wednesday – Love…in Five Parts

It struck me this morning, as I was driving into an office I frequent and entire day-and-a-half a week, how blessed my life has been by love. Are you wondering what brought about this epiphany? Why, Lady Antebellum did. One song in particular entitled, If I Knew Then. The chorus - Cause love only comes once in awhile, Knocks on your door and throws you a smile, And takes every breath, leaves every scar, Speaks to your soul and sings to your heart, And if I knew then what I know now, I’d fall in love - touches me on the many levels of this mysterious condition that allows my heart to soar and ache all at the same time.

It’s a charming little four-letter word, isn’t it? L-O-V-E. Its definition remains so enigmatic that not one of us has yet to truly figure it out.

At its foundation, love is defined (in this case by Dictionary.com) as: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Sounds lovely, right? But love has many different levels, layers that fill a person’s pie shell with sweet, sour and savory flavors that affect how we give generous, or calorie reduced slices of love in return.

In my lifetime I have been touched by the love of my parents and family, I have fallen in love with three men who shaped me as a woman and will always hold a place in my heart, and I have experienced the enormous love between mother and daughter. Blessed I tell you, blessed!

So what is it about love, on a Wednesday, which inspires me to delve into this recipe? Pain. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to drag you into my current brand of crazy, but, that insanity is what is keeping me up at night forcing me to think about whether my recipe is good enough, or not.

Also, love is taboo. It’s something we choose not to jinx; talk about before its time. Unless we are closely connected to friends and family, we rarely release it from the vest. So, this is my attempt to get you to share your recipe for love. Educate me. Listen intently, I may just teach you a little something in return. Ah, the give and take of…love. See, intimacy abounds.

Here we find ourselves at the end of Love – Part I. Mise en place is complete. Now, let’s start putting the ingredients in this pie and talk about how they help us express the love we feel. Yes, feeling is scary, but you can do it. I believe in you.

Until next Wednesday and Part II, I remain Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – “H” is for Harness Creativity

It’s funny, when someone uses the term “harness” in my brain it conjures up the image of a cowboy lassoing a mighty stallion. I must have been a cow poke in a former life. I also envision “harness” as something you do to energy or atoms; capturing it in little glass jars like fireflies.


But, when I speak in terms of harnessing creativity, I am telling you to liberate it. I know it’s an antonym. Are you wondering how to do it? Well, in my case and that of a number of other writers I know, you get the opposite of BICHOK (butt in chair hands on keys) and do a little hard labor. There’s nothing like some back-breaking hard work to clear your head and get the creative juices flowing again.

Oh, so that’s too much to ask? Okay, hit a road block or writer’s block and see if you don’t change your mind. Dolly Parton has been known to fast - yes, I mean stop eating - in order to get her creativity revved up and has written entire albums full of heartfelt songs while consuming nothing but fruit juice. Who wouldn't with the promise of a cheeseburger once finished?



My friend and critique partner came for our weekly check-in on Friday and we talked about how good it was to step away from our respective WIPs and do a little physical work. Pam tore her house apart and painted both her son’s room and her piano studio while on spring break, and emerged with new direction and ready to get back to work on a project that had been threatening to go into the recycle bin. I have taken on a very intense gardening project that involves five raised beds, two sections of patio and surrounding flower beds. It is an undertaking but one I needed to pull me away from my recent lack of enthusiasm over my WIP.



An unstoppable garden under construction.
If I stop now I have a mosh pit.



Talk about getting derailed (March 16, 2011). It happens sometimes – life – and it takes away from everything a writer holds sacred – time, passion, fervor – all gone replaced by the burdensome weight of sadness, anger and frustration. It takes time to get creativity back on track, so liberate it in other ways and keep feeding your soul. Go fishing if you have to. Take on a new workout routine. Get physical. I promise it will make slipping off track much easier to deal with emotionally.

Tell us something about you. What kind of heavy lifting gets your mind off your troubles? Do you ever find yourself lacking enthusiasm over your WIP (whatever it may be)? How do you liberate creativity?

Until Wednesday I remain back-broken and dirty but Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers - "G" is for Go Get 'em Tiger!

Sometimes the best thing to do is just start, right? My mom once gave me this frilly, lace-fringed magnet that read, “I’d be unstoppable if I could only get started.” There’s no doubt that even at my age getting started isn’t always that easy to do.


But more importantly, once you get started, what are you going to do with that? Let me share with you a snippet form my own life – YOU KEEP GOING!

Why, Lindy, what ever do you mean (in my best Scarlett O’Hara voice)? I mean keep putting one foot in front of the other. But, I can’t take care of all these people (in my weakest Melanie rebut). Let me tell you a little something, if you can just keep taking one more step, you can go places, feed people, live your dream.

Forgive my Scarlett and Melanie references, but Nancy Knight rubbed off on me in her Well Begun is Half Done workshop this past Saturday at our monthly Georgia Romance Writers meeting.

Don’t believe me? Well, during the very last week of February and the very first week of March, I took an InDesign (Adobe graphic design program) course with my girlfriend who needed some help with her BIG advertising client. Three days over the course of two weeks I spent learning something new and you know what, here it is mid-April and not only do I work 10-15 hours a week for that client, I work another 10 hours a week for a recently acquired client of my own. Know why? Because I let go of my fear and self-doubt and took a flying leap of a cliff.

When I went soaring off the precipice into the open air and great unknown I had no idea that I could survive. I had no clue I could be successful. But I dove knowing that if I didn’t do it I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I strive to put that philosophy into practice in everything I do, including my writing.

So, if you ever find yourself thinking that it’s just not possible, you’re not good enough, or you’re just too darn lazy, guess what, those are all pretty lame excuses! Go out there and get ‘em tiger! I know you can.

Until Wednesday, I remain aloft and Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – “F” is for Flexibility, Forgiveness and Fundamentals or Just Plain Fun

The F-words can be pretty offensive, but if you swallow hard, I’m sure you too can manage hearing them with grace.


Flexibility is a huge key to any new writer’s growth (note I didn’t say success). In order to grow you must be able to ebb and flow with life’s tides. Your first goal as a writer is to put humongous burdens on yourself. Make sure you set out to write for two hours (at least) or 2,ooo words a day. Don’t take into account sick days, vacation days, your kid’s days for each of those, the fact that your spouse, family, best friend needs you. NO! Set unreasonable goals so you have a good excuse to quit and not live your dream. What? Don’t want to give up on your dream? Alright then, breathe in these dream-sustaining words – remain flexible. Change as you need to and be proud that if you even daydream about your story for a minute today you have moved closer to living your dream of being a writer.

Forgiveness goes hand in hand with flexibility. If you make the mistake of taking on too much too soon (I’m speaking from experience here people) forgive yourself. Don’t quit. I would miss you. We would all miss you. The thing of it is you are part of a community now so if you leave we will notice. Your spirit – aka energy – will be missing from this fantastical world us writers call home. So, if you face unanticipated challenges, deal with them, forgive yourself a needed break, and then return to your community.

Finally (ah, another “F” word) we have fundamentals. Never stop learning the fundamentals of your craft. Our language is constantly growing and changing. You can read any urban dictionary to learn that (I’m waiting for the Grammar Divas to chime in here). But the fundamentals of good writing remain the same. Take an English refresher at your local university. Emory University offers one I’ll be taking in the fall. Take a workshop online. Read a book or watch a video on craft. Michael Hague’s The Hero’s Two Journeys is wonderful. Stephen King’s On Writing is insightful. You won’t regret knowing your craft.

Above and beyond all else, and this is most important, NEVER STOP HAVING FUN! Your dream isn’t meant to be work. I know. I know. When you get into the business of writing it will be more like work, but as a new writer it’s meant to be life giving. So, have fun with it. Be adventurous and creative and have FUN!

Until Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – “E” is for Expectations

Boy howdy, do we know how to have expectations! We expect to be able to stay on top of everything all the time, our kids to do well at school and in activities, our raises or bonuses to come through, and when we say our prayers, now think about it, we ask for what we expect. I’m going to ask you an honest question, and I want an honest answer…how many of you pray (or meditate) only for your Higher Power’s will and acceptance of that will? I certainly haven’t always prayed for what my Higher Power believed was best, I selfishly asked for what I wanted on my schedule. I had…expectations.

Now, I don’t want to get up on my soapbox today, instead I want to talk about our expectations as writers. You probably already know where this is going, but I could throw you for a loop. I often fool myself when I am writing so please keep reading and let’s see where this goes.

As a writer, I (personally) expect to:
Accomplish my goals, no matter how crazy and time-crunched they may be;
Publish this year;
Not get frustrated, overwhelmed, side-tracked (fill in the blank);
Learn something new about craft every day;
Never get my feelings hurt over a critique or a bad review.

You name it folks and every single time I (I can only speak for myself) expect perfection. The thing of it is we’re not perfect. We’re human; flawed in every sense of the word. But, as writers, especially newbie writers, that can be a welcome and wonderful part of our journey.

Take that list of bullet points up there, insert yourself, then see failing at every single one - you can’t meet your word count on a daily basis; can’t get published; got frustrated, overwhelmed or side-tracked for no real good reason; didn’t learn a single new thing; and you took your last critique so personally you folded into a blubbering lump on the floor. Can you see it? Feel it?

I know it hurts, but don’t give up on me yet…

“In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.” – Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama is a wise man. Don’t have impossible expectations. In fact, try not to have any at all. Instead, remain flexible. Give yourself permission to withdraw and restore when necessary.

Now, imagine loosening your belt a bit (aka lowering your expectations). Your writing goals aren’t as stringent so you’ve been able to accomplish them for the most part; a publisher has requested a full on spec; you had no real reason to feel frustrated, overwhelmed or side-tracked because you accepted each of these emotions as they arose; you learned a tiny little snippet of something new (without voraciously consuming the latest book on craft) almost every day; and your last critique offered up some really good advice from an author you admire. Now how do you feel? Things could still work out for you, right? Do you feel defeated or driven to work a little smarter, maybe change your perceptions?

If you want to find success as a writer or as a human you can’t put so much pressure on yourself. If you do the certainty is that you will fail. But if you relax, stop asking for what you want on your schedule, do the work and let things happen, then no matter how you look at it, you will have succeeded.

Do you have high expectations of yourself? I’ve just added to mine by joining the Round of Words in 80 Days Challenge (ROW80). My tiny goal for the next 80 days is to work on my current WIP for 30 minutes a day and to work on plotting the next WIP for 15 minutes each day. Will you join the challenge?

Until Wisdom Wednesday I remain flexible, open to my Higher Power’s will and Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – “D” is for Determine, Devise, Design

As a new writer there is nothing more important than getting started. Believe me, if you do nothing else today - get going. Two years ago when I left my career to be a full-time mom and writer I had to get started right away. So, I took a class at Emory and thought, Wow! Now I’ve got it! I’m ready! What was I ready for? Ha! I thought after that one class that I was ready to take the publishing world by storm. What I was really prepared for was…wait for it…getting started.

Let’s stop here at the first “D” word for today – Determine. Before I could take even the tiniest step into my journey as a writer I had to determine that writing was what I really, with all of my heart and soul, wanted to do. Yes, you really have to decide if this is it otherwise you’re going to go through the birthing process only to find you aren’t Dickens, Tolkien, or Ephron, face the rejection of a lifetime and quit or self publish and fail miserably. Did I just burst your bubble? Good! Somebody needed to. Writing is for everyone but becoming a published author takes guts, gumption, fearlessness, commitment. It is not easy nor is it without pain. Still want to proceed? I had a feeling you might. Let’s move on to our second “D” word for today – Devise.

So I put on my project management hat and had, in order to be successful, to devise a plan. My plan for 2011 is called: My Writing and Career Goals. It consists of weekly and monthly goals for this blog, my website, WIPs, the blog I am launching with critique partners Pam Asberry and Pamela Mason, working on my career plan and goals for 2012, and last but certainly not least a job I can actually bill hours for. Take something as simple as this blog (you only think it’s an information dump) - I have an editorial calendar mapped out through the end of the year with topics to write about three times each week, and so it goes for every one of my goals. But making a plan is only part of it because in all of this you must live. Which leads us to our final “D” word – Design.

No, I’m not talking about designing a platform, a website, or even a plot. I’m talking about designing your life. If you were sitting here at my desk right now looking up at My Writing and Career Goals you might find it easy to fold under the pressure. I often do. Some days I sit here paralyzed wishing that I didn’t put so much into achieving my dreams. Some days being immobile is the best thing for me. Some days I have to, as my friend Pam calls it, refill the well. But that’s the thing about designing your life. You must recharge your batteries every single day. You must eat, sleep, play and work. Not just WORK. Yes, work is a four letter word. W.O.R.K. See. Anyway, design time to not only grow yourself and your career, but to live. Go to the gym, take a walk, go to the nearest bouncy play place with your kids and jump like you're a five year old, read, journal, cook, paint – do what makes you happy. And when the responsibilities wear you down, well, forgiveness is another topic for another day (a couple of weeks from now) but be ready to love yourself for letting go of what you can. Do what’s important; forget and forgive the rest.

It’s officially time for you to join the conversation. I want to hear from someone who has been stalking this blog. I dare you to come out of the shadows and tell us about your plans as a new writer or even as a human. You could even win a t-shirt. All of today’s commentators will be entered to win the Unstoppable t-shirt.

Until Wisdom Wednesday, I remain Unstoppable.

Wisdom (from chocolate) Wednesday - Celebrate Life!

Sometimes I feel like such a fraud sharing tidbits of wisdom with you, especially when it comes to things like celebrating your own life. But I realized this morning that in my attempt to reach you, I am really reaching out to me. Sounds crazy, yes, but does it make sense? How often have you offered advice knowing full well that you don’t practice what you preach (but you want to)?

Well, here I am on another Wednesday, my heart in my hand, telling you what I need to hear. Are you ready?

The more you praise and celebrate your life the more there is in life to celebrate. – Love, Dove

Yes, you read it right. Insight from a piece of chocolate. Dark chocolate with almonds in this case.
The marketers at Dove are pure genius just like the folks who decided to put stuffed animals on the lowest shelves in the store to attract little ones. Who wouldn’t keep buying bags of chocolates when shown the path to enlightenment, individuality, joy? I certainly do. Every time I visit the grocery store I shyly make my way to the candy isle knowing I can’t afford another calorie, but longing for a tiny bit of something to keep me inspired, moving through life with hope instead of desperation. Off soap box, back on ground.

Think about who you are, really. I publicize myself as a writer. Have I been published? Yes, in many ways, but I have yet to sell a novel. Does that stop me from reveling in the fact that I’m a writer? Heck no! It’s on my business cards. I’m a writer. A PRO. No longer a hobbyist in my field, but someone willing to go the extra distance it takes to finish, revise, develop a platform, build an audience, and market, market, market. I’m happy to celebrate that little piece of me and in doing so hope that one day I can celebrate publishing a novel. Put it out there so it comes back tenfold. That’s the message.

My good friend and critique partner, Pam Asberry shared a smart little video in her blog this week that made me realize how necessary it is to look at life differently (from the opposite). Little ways to get inspired and celebrate who we are and the lives we live.

Back on soap box…As humans I think it’s easy to forget how to celebrate, as Americans I believe we’re cursed with believing we’ll never achieve to our highest ability so there’s nothing to celebrate. The American Dream has morphed from a two bedroom one bath house, with a car in the driveway, two kids and a pet into McMansions, cars for each member of the family and sixteen hour workdays to support it all. With all of this, who has time to party? And, when did we lose sight of the little things that need celebrating?

My Aunt’s brother Don has been suffering the ills of cancer for what seems like forever and yesterday after a long wait he endured the surgery to replace all of his organs. Yep, you heard me right – ALL. Don’t you think when Don wakes up he’s going to rejoice in his life? Why should we wait for such dire circumstances when we have minutes and hours each day to revel in the little things?

So, here’s your challenge for today – be your curse heartache, a huge mortgage, illness, addiction, six kids in college, or a job that works your fingers to the bone – take the afternoon off from your brand of crazy and enjoy yourself! See things from another direction. Take in this gorgeous spring day! See what you can learn from the triumphs and the tragedies! Laugh with your kids and family! Celebrate you!

Diane Ackerman once said, “I don’t want to be a passenger in my own life.” I think, just for today, I will follow her lead and direct my head strong locomotive right where I want it to go, to a party just for me, just because.

Until tomorrow, I will party and work myself crazy in order to remain Unstoppable.

Wisdom Wednesday - Get Derailed, But Only For A Minute

There’s nothing like the pain and frustration that accompany getting derailed in life. Whether you are following your dream of becoming a writer, pursuing a new career path, or finding comfort in staying home to raise a child, when “life happens” and your speeding locomotive jumps the track, what do you do?

As someone who has experienced this phenomenon this week, I must say I’ve been given some of the best advice. One dear friend told me, “Wallow. Take the time you need to wallow today, but tomorrow, get your butt back to work, dig your toes in and be stubborn about it.”

So I did. But, instead of wallowing alone I invited friends to join me. I had lunch with a handful of wonderful people including a man I recently completed book edits for, followed by a visit from two besties. Once the visits were over and I had found some peace, I got some sleep. This morning brought a visit by my two critique partners, Pam Asberry and Pamela Mason, and some sense of digging my toes in. And this afternoon the fog cleared from my brain and I moved on a bit, my bitterness quelled by a nice dinner out with an old friend.

I guess the point is it doesn’t matter what comes out of life’s tunnels to throw you off track, take a break if you need to but get back on track as quickly as you can. Hold onto the dreams you have built for yourself. Don’t give in completely to the derailment. In the end you have only yourself to be accountable to. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to have to face disappointing myself.

Mary Tyler Moore once said, “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” So, take firm grasp of the bull in the middle of your life’s track, wrestle with it, and then move it out of your way. You have much more important things to focus on.

Until tomorrow’s Truth or Fiction, I remain Unstoppable.

Truth or Fiction - The Reveal

Well, if you thought the story was true, in one instance you were right. The meal was very real, and look what it inspired.

As a writer one of the most important things for me to remember is inspiration comes from anywhere and everywhere. This meal made my night some 16 years ago, and to this day I can still find a way to write about it.

Interesting thought, isn't it? What small thing can you recall from 16 years ago that might inspire you to write something today? Take a minute and let that thought bring out your inner-writer.

Until Malleable Monday and the letter "B" for new writers, I remain Unstoppable.

Truth or Fiction Thursday - The Foodie Ballerina

Emma was a spitfire. At twenty-three, she was the youngest Executive Coordinator ever hired at a Culinary School in the Southeast. She was the anomaly in a field otherwise dominated by older male chefs entrenched in the area’s restaurant scene. The lanky food-lover hurried to get to know every chef that opened a restaurant in her town inviting them to showcase their food in one of her many classes. She viewed her position as a stepping stone to her dream job – restaurant public relations and marketing.

Sitting at her linen-covered table, she shook her head, hoping with desperation she could let go of work for two days. She wanted forty-eight hours to enjoy the beach, but the food on the island called to her, leading her to a new restaurant famed for its play on Southern cuisine.

Her meal was exquisite - pecan-crusted salmon and Portobello cheese grits with wilted greens. She savored every delicate bite allowing the sweet, rich flavors to mingle and fill her palette and soul with the peace she desired.

Taking her last sip of tannin-rich Pinot Noir, she asked her waitress, “Could you please ask Chef to come to the table so I could pay him my compliments in person?”

“Absolutely!” the summer-bronzed woman replied, making haste to the kitchen.

Distracted, Emma’s eyes wandered around the restaurant spying lovers in dimly lit corners, and paintings with bright, contemporary colors. She was at home in her surroundings and filled with confidence.

Seconds later the chef stepped into the dining room. Dressed in crisp, formal whites, toque sitting atop his head, he appeared to be seven feet tall. Emma’s breath caught in her chest as the handsome, mysterious man approached the table, his self-assured stature enchanting.

She offered her hand and began to speak, but instead of shaking it in response, Chef pulled Emma to her feet, twirling her out into the middle of the room, her shapely, tan legs peeking out from under her short, flowing red dress. Captivated, Emma fell into the moment, letting Chef’s hand in the small of her back direct her every step.

With nary an introduction, they danced around the room to cascades of Sinatra’s snappy beat, swaying back and forth, the music guiding them closer and closer to one another. When the tune ended, Emma’s cheek was pressed against that of the chef’s, her right hand curled tightly in his left, her knees trembling, announcing her coolness had long since left her.

It’s your turn to join the conversation. Do you think this really happened? Does it sound eerily similar to something you’ve experienced? Comment and tell us what Unstoppable moments have occurred in your own life.

Until tomorrow’s reveal, I remain Unstoppable.

Wisdom Wednesday - Is Self-Defeat Defeating You?

Some days I can’t turn my face away from the ground. Life’s drama – too much work, too little time, too many “mommy, mommy, MOMMYs!” and nary enough hands or brains – oftentimes has me so afraid of “what ifs” that I can’t comprehend how to even pick up and do thing number one. How frustrating it is to wake up and know immediately that the few blessed hours you get in a day have already been eaten up with time commitments. It’s debilitating.

Self-defeat can be the first obstacle some of us have to overcome each day. Don’t think you fall into this category? I didn’t either until a memo citing some traits of self-defeating behavior crossed my desk. In shock, I, the self-sufficient learner-by-osmosis read the statement, “I don’t need help, I’ll figure it out myself.” Now wait a minute! That sounded just like me. But how is that self-defeating behavior?

At that moment I realized that not asking for help to learn or accomplish what I need to grow and thrive in life holds me back. Look at the wealth of knowledge I can access just by messaging someone on Facebook or Twitter – moms, writers, family, sitters, and business people like myself – all right there for the asking.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. – Helen Keller

In the face of unbelievable adversity, Helen Keller became the first deaf blind person to graduate from college. If she can experience such amazing achievement in her life, then what in the world could I have to worry about? It’s all relative. We all have our own personal hardships.

When I get out of sorts with misfortunes and the “to dos” of the day, I put on my project management cap and make a list. Though these lists are pretty darn long, at least the things that need accomplishing are on paper. It’s a start and something I have to do before I even know what I need help with.

Next, I prioritize. The key to getting things done in my life is knowing what to let go of. This all too critical stage of time structuring allows me the chance to take what I consider an emergency and imagine it being stricken with a sharp steel axe, chopped right out of my day. Okay, the visual is a little violent, but it works for me. The beautiful thing about the axe is that each day I must face a plethora of responsibilities: my day job, cleaning, laundry, cooking, WIP revisions, whatever “bad thing” must happen (this morning it was a coffee pot spewing coffee onto the counter vs. in the pot), and spending quality time with my little girl. The picture just became clearer to you, didn’t it? It’s impossible for me to imagine the dreaded axe chopping my daughter out of my day. To me, the image is grotesque, and like the reality, I could never allow it to happen.

Finally, I make the necessary cuts and ask for help where I need it. When faced with lengthy projects at work, a blog to write, and family in town yesterday I chopped out vacuuming the floors and running errands, and asked my mom to help by making dinner, so I could spend time with my little girl laughing, playing, and watching a movie. Not only did we get to bond, she got my full attention and lots of love and kisses and I got to see life through her eyes – much less serious and without drop-deadlines.

There may not have been a lot of sun in Atlanta today, but the sky was bright enough and we kept our heads up so the shadows remained out of sight. It made for another Unstoppable day.

Join the conversation. What are some difficulties you’ve faced lately? How do you prioritize? What are you willing to cut out of your day to make time for what’s important? What gives you strength and inspiration in the face of adversity? Do you ask for help when you need it?

I look forward to seeing you here tomorrow for Truth or Fiction Thursday. Until then, I remain Unstoppable.

This Week's Winners

Happy weekend everyone! I wanted to take a quick minute of your time to announce this week's follow and comment winners. They are:

Malleable Monday - Nicki S. for an Unstoppable T-shirt
Wisdom Wednesday - Pam A. for an Unstoppable Coffee Mug
Truth or Fiction Thursday - Robin K. for an Unstoppable Mousepad

(Winners were assigned numbers and chosen by Random.org)

Thanks to each of you for following along and commenting. Watch for future posts and contests at www.unstoppablestart.com or http://unstoppablestart.blogspot.com.

Have a great day!

Lindy

Truth or Fiction Thursday - Hey! That's Mine!

It's the inaugural installment of Truth or Fiction Thursday, so let's get right to it, shall we...

She was an immovable presence in her neighborhood, a woman not to be challenged. Sara gave her time and energy to her neighborhood association, PTA, and the one charity she held dear, H.E.R.O. for Children. But one day, someone did challenge Sara.

She arrived home at dusk one February evening to find her garbage sitting in white kitchen bags on the curb. That's odd, she thought pulling into the driveway of her West Atlanta home. I put herbie-curbie out this morning.

She stomped inside, upset over her missing $80 garbage can and asked her partner Erica what she did with it.

"I didn’t do anything but put it on the curb full of trash," Erica snapped back, still upset because she was the one who had to take out the garbage that morning. "Why don't you go ask the neighbors?"

Out the back door, Sara marched directly to the next door neighbors, the bee in her bonnet buzzing with fury. "Do you guys know what happened to my fifteen year old, very expensive trash can?" she demanded.

Every neighbor, three in each direction, responded, "No." Finally crossing the street, Sara discovered a witness. "Sure," her neighbor Tom sounded righteous. "I saw someone come through here earlier, empty the trash and pull it away like it was theirs."

With that, the bee stung Sara. She headed right off Tom's porch and paraded up and down the surrounding streets until she found her beloved trash can sitting by the garage of a neighbor's house two blocks over. She walked straight up to the house, emptied the dirty white bags from her can and wrapping her fist around the handle of herbie-curbie she began to walk away. But, the temptation to say something was too great. Sara stood in front of one of the large picture windows on the front of the Brady Bunch contemporary brick home challenging the owner to, "come out and take this trash can from me again!"

When no one accepted her challenge, Sara calmed down and started her walk home. She was proud of herself for locating her precious disposal bin and happy she took the steps to get it back. When she arrived home she wrote her street number in permanent marker on every side of the container, put her trash back inside, and left herbie-curbie on the curb for pickup the next day.

Early the next morning, with coffee in hand, Sara pleaded with Erica to come out and look at her prize. Upon seeing the familiar trash receptacle on the curb, Erica took a sip of coffee and laughing choked out, "Sweetie, that one isn't ours."

Become part of the discussion - Is this a true story, or is it fiction? C'mon, don't you want to know how it ends? Aren't you a little curious? Leave a comment before midnight (EST) March 4, 2011 and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win the Unstoppable Mouse pad. And, you'll get to hear the truth.

Until then, I remain the Unstoppable Ms. Start

Wisdom Wednesday - How Do You Relax?

Okay, here it is, the very first installment of Wisdom Wednesdays. I am so excited to be able to share these special posts with you, because, at my heart, I've learned a lot and want to impart that wisdom on everyone who will listen (in this case, read). Are you laughing? Don’t we all want an audience for our opinions, knowledge, wisdom?

The world today is wrought with time-sucks. You know what a time-suck is, right? It's anything you have to do to get where you want to go. Traffic, for instance, is a time-suck. Albeit enjoyable, catching up on Facebook updates and Tweets can be a time-suck. Wrestling with a three year old who refuses to get dressed for "school" is most certainly a time-suck. So, after a day filled with the crazy that accompanies life and takes away any chance you may have to do a teensy-weensy something for yourself, when and how do you relax?

For me, it's all about getting up early and staying up late. Doesn't sound very relaxing, does it? But, those two things are actually on my "goals" for this year along with a closing statement...Take Care of Myself!

When I get up early I use that time to enjoy my favorite coffee, watch the sun light up the houses across the street, I catch up on FB and Twitter without interruption. It's a wonderful time for me.

Staying up late often allows me to wear my stress-relieving mask (yes, the same goo-filled doohickey you've seen at the drugstore), watch grown-up television, and maybe even, God bless, paint my toenails.

Do you see a theme emerging? Taking care of myself is an important part of Emerging Unstoppable in 2011. They are little things that to anyone else may seem trivial, but to me these are major accomplishments, a part of my happiness that cannot be lived without.

When and how do you relax? Do you take good care of yourself? Share with the group the times and ways that help you stay Unstoppable and every person who comments between midnight March 2nd and midnight March 3rd will be entered into a drawing to win The Unstoppable Coffee Mug (or another available Unstoppable product of your choice).

Don't forget, if you're not already a follower, Follow me now. Just click on the Follow button on the top of the page and follow the instructions (I must find another way to word this).

Until tomorrow, I remain,

Unstoppable

The Unstoppable Blog

Welcome to the new and improved Unstoppable Blog!

I heard recently that it is better to be whole than to be good. That one dwells with the Divine by embracing his or her nature. Do you believe that to be true? If so, I hope you will "Follow Me" this year as I journey down my path and Emerge Unstoppable in 2011.

If you want the back-story, please read my profile. Today is the first day of my new life, not a day to dwell on the past. Good-bye old me. Hello world!

I'll bet your wondering what's so special about this blog. Well, not much up until now, except that it is written by me. Ha! Kidding. My older posts are still available if you are interested in knowing more about my spirit, my writing, and who you are reading. But, looking ahead, I promise to bring you entertaining content, wisdom as I know it, and tips to make the journey of becoming a new writer your own.

Here's the plan:
Every Monday is Malleable Monday. That means I am giving you permission to take what is usually the worst day of the week and make it what you want it to be - bend it, shape it, make it your happy day. My Malleable Monday posts will focus on the ABCs for New Writers. In other words: Inspiration, Direction, Motivation. At lease, until we get to "Z".

Wednesdays are Wisdom Wednesdays. This is where we will share with each other little bits of wisdom we have gained as individuals.

And finally, Truth or Fiction Thursdays. Each Thursday I will share a short with you that is so incredible, so unbelievable, that you will have to ask yourself - Is it truth or is it fiction? Then hopefully, you'll share your answer with the group.

As for today and the re-launch of the Unstoppable Blog, I would like to gain 25 followers. How do you follow? Just click on the Follow button at the top of the page and follow the directions. (Lots of following to be done!) If you "Follow Me" today, midnight February 28, 2011 to midnight, March 1, 2011 (EST) your name will be entered into a drawing to win the Unstoppable T-shirt (or another Unstoppable product of your choosing). It's a cool shirt and it will get you started on your journey to Emerging Unstoppable in 2011!

Until Wednesday, I remain,
Unstoppable