Liberation...Kind Of

Ah, FREEDOM!

I was reminded this morning by a follower that I need to stop the BS. Stop BS'ing my way through each day like everything is okay and start letting this divorce mess go. God, it's hard!

Reminders come in droves daily. Even my soon-to-be wasband said to me last week, "It's been eight months. Why can't you move on?" Taken out of context you might think that I had gone crawling back to him asking to try again. Let me assure you, that was NOT the case. I was actually expressing to him that it wasn't a good time to talk because I was in "hater" mode and I didn't want to cause any friction between us. Better? Thought so.

The thing is, it was easy for him to move on. He took a weekend, packed what he wanted and moved into an empty apartment with newly steam-cleaned carpets and freshly painted walls. He walked away from the daily responsibility of hugging, communicating, listening, bathing, feeding, clothing his family and found himself alone with time to himself to process this vast amount of change. Wow! Now, if I wanted a fresh start that is certainly the way I'd do it given the option. But that wasn't my option. I, instead, was left with no job, a mortgage, and the daily grind of hugging, communicating, listening, bathing, feeding and clothing my family in a home still filled with memories of a marriage.

His comment really tossed me a curve ball. So I sat. And, I thought about it. This was my conclusion...I haven't moved on because I've had all of 68 days to myself inside of eight months to process the fact that we are no longer a family. I am a single mom trying to accomplish great things in my life like becoming a published author, and at this moment, hell, just re-entering the workforce. Sixty-eight days is not a long time to tackle very much on either of those fronts, forget the emotional mayhem.

So, as little Red went off to her father's this past weekend I took it upon myself to do some liberating. Liberating of space. I hired the man down the street (Tony, who is terrific BTW for anyone living here in Medlock Park) to help me go through the loads of crap down in the basement, clean out the crawl space, purge the soon-to-be's stuff from my life. What was a basement full of junk that needed to go is now a craft room, playroom, and extra living area with a couch and tv for watching movies in the darkest of dark rooms. Okay, so there is still a wall filled with things that need to be put in our next yard sale, but my power tools are separate from my hand tools, my screws no longer reside with my nails, and I know where all of those gifts I pre-purchased for birthdays and holidays are now. I even installed shelving at the laundry area to keep things neat and tidy. And, I got to use my screw gun, AGAIN! I love being a girl.

So, for all of you out there suffering the mourning that accompanies divorce, I say, "Liberate yourself!" Stop holding on to the stuff. Let it go. It's time for a fresh, clean start.

Thanks DannJ for kicking me in the ass. I sure needed it.

Until next time, I remain Unstoppable.

ABCs for New Writers – “H” is for Harness Creativity

It’s funny, when someone uses the term “harness” in my brain it conjures up the image of a cowboy lassoing a mighty stallion. I must have been a cow poke in a former life. I also envision “harness” as something you do to energy or atoms; capturing it in little glass jars like fireflies.


But, when I speak in terms of harnessing creativity, I am telling you to liberate it. I know it’s an antonym. Are you wondering how to do it? Well, in my case and that of a number of other writers I know, you get the opposite of BICHOK (butt in chair hands on keys) and do a little hard labor. There’s nothing like some back-breaking hard work to clear your head and get the creative juices flowing again.

Oh, so that’s too much to ask? Okay, hit a road block or writer’s block and see if you don’t change your mind. Dolly Parton has been known to fast - yes, I mean stop eating - in order to get her creativity revved up and has written entire albums full of heartfelt songs while consuming nothing but fruit juice. Who wouldn't with the promise of a cheeseburger once finished?



My friend and critique partner came for our weekly check-in on Friday and we talked about how good it was to step away from our respective WIPs and do a little physical work. Pam tore her house apart and painted both her son’s room and her piano studio while on spring break, and emerged with new direction and ready to get back to work on a project that had been threatening to go into the recycle bin. I have taken on a very intense gardening project that involves five raised beds, two sections of patio and surrounding flower beds. It is an undertaking but one I needed to pull me away from my recent lack of enthusiasm over my WIP.



An unstoppable garden under construction.
If I stop now I have a mosh pit.



Talk about getting derailed (March 16, 2011). It happens sometimes – life – and it takes away from everything a writer holds sacred – time, passion, fervor – all gone replaced by the burdensome weight of sadness, anger and frustration. It takes time to get creativity back on track, so liberate it in other ways and keep feeding your soul. Go fishing if you have to. Take on a new workout routine. Get physical. I promise it will make slipping off track much easier to deal with emotionally.

Tell us something about you. What kind of heavy lifting gets your mind off your troubles? Do you ever find yourself lacking enthusiasm over your WIP (whatever it may be)? How do you liberate creativity?

Until Wednesday I remain back-broken and dirty but Unstoppable.