If I Died Today, What Would You Say?

Today's topic is difficult for most people. It is that of our mortality. In W. Gary Gore’s book Navigating Change he asks yet another tough question: What would my family, friends and associates say about me if I died today?

My life has been so upside down lately that I can only imagine my friends, family and associates being grateful I am…gone. I mean really, I’ve had nothing to talk about but sad, angry, lonely poop that has happened in my life over the last eight months or so. Who wants to listen to that? Even I don't want to listen to that anymore.

Honestly, that's why I’m on this journey to determine my core purpose, the meaning of my life. What I’ve found over the last eight months is that I haven’t been a good friend. I have been difficult to talk to, to listen to; I have been frustrated, angry, hurt and have nothing to intellectual to share. I don’t want to be that person anymore. So what would my friends, family and associates say about me if I died today?

• Finally! She found some peace.
• We didn't see her enough!
• We'll miss her spirit!

That's not how I want to leave this life or this world. So I'm going to leave with you my favorite poem by Andrea Alban Gosline:

Sing my song
In children dancing

And lovebirds soaring
From the nest to the moon.

Tell my story
To jasmine twining
And willows swaying
In the long summer sun.

Look for me
In peaceful eyes of mothers
And faces of their babies
In contented sleep.

Remember me
In quiet nights of winter
And mornings of new flowers,
Dreaming of spring.

Living life isn’t about the bad. It isn’t about sharing what hurts. It’s about sharing what you are grateful for and let me tell you, I’m grateful for so many things (another post for another day). No really, I made a list.

What about you? What would your friends, family and associates say if you died today? How does that make you feel? Would you change anything?

Living a grateful life, I remain Unstoppable.

It Takes Dedication!

So far you've read what I want to do with my life, why that's important to know, whether I believe anyone would notice if I cease to exist (apparently a Lindy can fall in the woods and still make a sound whether someone is there to hear her or not), and the purpose I feel I serve in the lives of others. It was a BIG week in self-discovery last week. Ha!

Now, let's examine what I believe my life is dedicated to. Yes, that is W. Gary Gore's next question on the Core Purpose Questionnaire: What is my life dedicated to?

Here's the long and the short of it: Joy! Growth! My little girl! Supporting us financially! Our church and church family! Our friends and family! Exploration! Adventure! Experimentation (especially in life)! and sharing what we have with others! 

I imagine the Grammar Divas and others in my writing circle might be reading that paragraph chastising me for entirely too many exclamation points. I find it critical  to end each of those points with an exclamation point. Why? Because it reinforces the fact that I am excited about doing each one individually. I feel good about each one and want to live in a constant state of excitement about them because if I don't...they won't happen. Get it?

I am excited about the joy I currently have in my life and I invite more of it! I am excited about growth in my life and I manifest it! I am excited about my little girl and I love her whether she's happy, sad or spitting fire! I'm excited about supporting us financially and I do something about it! I'm excited about having a wonderful church home and family and I find ways to get more involved and give more! I'm excited about exploration therefore I get off the couch and explore! I'm excited about adventure! I'm excited about experimentation! I'm excited about sharing what I have with others! You see the theme, right? If I am excited I can create excitement and therefore no matter what I will be given what I am looking for.

I just launched a new business and a new blog called Real Life Entrepreneurship. I invite you to check it out. In my new adventure I am my own experiment, I found joy, I am growing, I am supporting us financially, and I'm finding countless ways to give back.

That's what my life is all about. Won't you support me? How can I support you? Will you join me?

Until tomorrow, I remain Unstoppable.

That's My Purpose. What's Yours?

Ha! The question for the Ages: Why am I here? (or, with my sticky keyboard...Why am I her?) Either way, it's a good question to know the answer to, right?

So continuing to credit where credit is due, this is Question # 4 on W. Gary Gore's What is My Core Purpose questionnaire: What purpose do I serve in the lives of other people? Can you tell I'm getting a lot of joy from this book? This is a review in progress as well as a work (me) in progress. One of my Tweet-peeps is LizInProgress and I just love her watching her progress. I'm one of those people who believe watching another's progress inspires my own. Are you like that too?

Feet. Back. On. Floor.

So, my answer to Mr. Gore's question is this:

• I'm a mom to a little girl who doesn't miss a thing. I want to set a positive example for her and for my "mom" friends. I think kids hold onto what they learn from us now and it comes back to us when they reach their teens, so I do everything I can to let Red know I am here for her.  
• I am a supporter of causes and of friends and even though I may not grab the phone at 3:00AM when you call in a panic, I promise I will call you back when I get up at 6:00AM. I also believe that when you look around you always see someone who needs help be it a kind word, a bottle of water, or a box of groceries. I hope to always stay grounded enough to see those people and help.
• Though I may not always be perfect at it, I try to be a good and empathetic listener. Sometimes that's all someone needs to feel better about themselves or a situation, and who am I not to hear them out. My friendly neighborhood yardman/handyman just came by to share with me something that was bothering him and the twenty minutes I spent listening wasn't painful at all. In fact, I recommend it.
• Finally, I think all these things make me a good friend. I may not catch every FB birthday or send cards or gifts, but you will always be in my thoughts and prayers, especially when it's needed most.

So I think overall I make for pretty solid stock when it comes to my purpose. I realize I haven't been perfect, heck, I haven't always been an example of a happy, positive person. Life has tried more than once to defeat me. But I'm not giving up or giving in. I will be that person. I'm in this!

What about you?

Would You Notice?

Still on the path of self discovery with W. Gary Gore, I find myself asking this next tough, yet inspiring question: Would others notice if I cease to exist?

Well, of course! I am the center of your universe, aren't I? You would miss these blog posts everyday and the pleasure of my voice on the other end of the line, right? We can only hope to touch someone's life to the point that they might miss us even a little. But the truth of the matter is most of the people we touch we will affect once and never see them again.

So, the answer to the question for me is: Yes, I believe a select few would miss me for a minute, then they would go about their lives as normal. Others wouldn't notice at all.

My question to myself in taking this a few steps further is this: If I have the rare opportunity to make a difference in someone's life but once, then why not seize that opportunity and make that one instance all it can be? My answer: Why not?

Alright, you all are being conspicuously quiet. It's time to join the conversation. What are your thoughts?

Why?

Yesterday I clued you in on what I want to do with my life, a challenge set forth by W. Gary Gore in his book, Navigating Change. Here is what I said: 


I want to be a positive example of a mother, a friend, a leader (in that order). I want to empower and inspire the people in my life and those who I reach, to be their best selves. I want to experience ultimate joy, selflessness, wealth, success and security for both myself and my daughter through my actions (after all that is all I can control). I want to enjoy the benefit of spiritual peace and abundance.

I think what I want to do with my life sounds fair, certainly reasonable, and very doable. But then he asks why this is important to know. Well...

I may be jumping of the same cliff all of his students have before me, but I think it's important to know this so I can point myself in the direction of what I want and start my journey.

Here I go...

 

My Current Daily Reading List:

• Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach (AM)
• Navigating Change by W. Gary Gore (AM)
• The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman (AM)
• Praying Our Goodbyes by Joyce Rupp (PM)
• Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World by Lisa Bloom (PM)
• Audio: Lord of the Flies written and read by William Golding (PM)

I encourage you to pick up a life-changing book today

Determining My Core Purpose in Life

What do I want to do with my life? Hmmmm.

I want to be a positive example of a mother, a friend, a leader (in that order). I want to empower and inspire the people in my life and those who I reach, to be their best selves. I want to experience ultimate joy, selflessness, wealth, success and security for both myself and my daughter through my actions (after all that is all I can control). I want to enjoy the benefit of spiritual peace and abundance.

 

The question seems obvious for some, but it took reading W. Gary Gore’s book on determining your life’s purpose and orienting your map and compass in such a way that you may achieve it, Navigating Change, for me to ask this question. My entire current (as of August 22, 2011) daily reading list may be found below.

 

What do you want to do with your life?

 

My Current Daily Reading List:

• Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach (AM)
• Navigating Change by W. Gary Gore (AM)
• The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman (AM)
• Praying Our Goodbyes by Joyce Rupp (PM)
• Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World by Lisa Bloom (PM)
• Audio: Lord of the Flies written and read by William Golding (PM)

I encourage you to pick up a life-changing book today.

 

Liberation...Kind Of

Ah, FREEDOM!

I was reminded this morning by a follower that I need to stop the BS. Stop BS'ing my way through each day like everything is okay and start letting this divorce mess go. God, it's hard!

Reminders come in droves daily. Even my soon-to-be wasband said to me last week, "It's been eight months. Why can't you move on?" Taken out of context you might think that I had gone crawling back to him asking to try again. Let me assure you, that was NOT the case. I was actually expressing to him that it wasn't a good time to talk because I was in "hater" mode and I didn't want to cause any friction between us. Better? Thought so.

The thing is, it was easy for him to move on. He took a weekend, packed what he wanted and moved into an empty apartment with newly steam-cleaned carpets and freshly painted walls. He walked away from the daily responsibility of hugging, communicating, listening, bathing, feeding, clothing his family and found himself alone with time to himself to process this vast amount of change. Wow! Now, if I wanted a fresh start that is certainly the way I'd do it given the option. But that wasn't my option. I, instead, was left with no job, a mortgage, and the daily grind of hugging, communicating, listening, bathing, feeding and clothing my family in a home still filled with memories of a marriage.

His comment really tossed me a curve ball. So I sat. And, I thought about it. This was my conclusion...I haven't moved on because I've had all of 68 days to myself inside of eight months to process the fact that we are no longer a family. I am a single mom trying to accomplish great things in my life like becoming a published author, and at this moment, hell, just re-entering the workforce. Sixty-eight days is not a long time to tackle very much on either of those fronts, forget the emotional mayhem.

So, as little Red went off to her father's this past weekend I took it upon myself to do some liberating. Liberating of space. I hired the man down the street (Tony, who is terrific BTW for anyone living here in Medlock Park) to help me go through the loads of crap down in the basement, clean out the crawl space, purge the soon-to-be's stuff from my life. What was a basement full of junk that needed to go is now a craft room, playroom, and extra living area with a couch and tv for watching movies in the darkest of dark rooms. Okay, so there is still a wall filled with things that need to be put in our next yard sale, but my power tools are separate from my hand tools, my screws no longer reside with my nails, and I know where all of those gifts I pre-purchased for birthdays and holidays are now. I even installed shelving at the laundry area to keep things neat and tidy. And, I got to use my screw gun, AGAIN! I love being a girl.

So, for all of you out there suffering the mourning that accompanies divorce, I say, "Liberate yourself!" Stop holding on to the stuff. Let it go. It's time for a fresh, clean start.

Thanks DannJ for kicking me in the ass. I sure needed it.

Until next time, I remain Unstoppable.